Ai Bendr
Ai Bendr is an 18-year-old artist who quite literally made it to LA at the top of this year. With three professionally released singles, including her debut (“Love Me Low,” featured on Euphoria) and one single this year (“I Like You”), Bendr has proven that she is by no means a one-hit-wonder. She tackles different tempos and even styles (check out her sophomore single, “Runaway”) and makes it seem effortless – all the while keeping her impressive, sultry, mature vocals front and center. Her other two aforementioned singles are far more solemn and slow, but no song of Bendr’s is anything less than well-crafted and heartfelt. Authenticity and emotion shine through, and that’s what matters most. Less than a year since her streaming debut, the payoff of her vulnerability has already catalyzed her ascent in the music industry. We recently spoke to Ai Bendr about to whom she owes her biggest thanks, some of her career goals, and more! Scroll down to read our full interview with the artist!
Tell us a little bit about yourself. How did you start making music?
For as long as I can remember I’ve loved just making up little tunes like I almost think it’s something innate about me. Writing songs and making music, in general (not just singing but actually just making beautiful sounds), has always been something that made me happy. I really became Ai Bendr when I decided to prioritize happiness in my life. I’ve always made music, whether it be instrumental pieces I composed with my flute or songs like Love Me Low, but my beginning as Ai Bendr started when I decided I wanted to make music for the rest of my life if that makes sense.
When and how did you know that you wanted to be a singer/songwriter?
There was a time in my life in high school when I thought I belonged absolutely nowhere in the world, and I felt like a waste of space, unnecessary, and that people would rather me not be here than be here, and because of that for a while, I felt like I didn’t want to be here either. However, the one exception was music; music sorta became the safe place I suppose. I felt like I belonged when I was playing music in my school’s music practice rooms. Singing out my emotions gave me happiness and tranquility, music could be fun or emotional or invigorating, and I felt happy that I was able to create something beautiful from all my negative emotions--being able to create something beautiful made me feel less unnecessary and very happy. So music became my happiness and my favorite home basically, and I decided that I never wanted to sacrifice this feeling of happiness and belonging and hope that music gave me, so I put my whole heart into creating the best music I possibly could and I started putting my name out there so that people might find some happiness in my music as well.
Writing a hit for Euphoria at only 18 is an incredible accomplishment. Walk us through the moment you knew you got the gig.
It was so causal how I found out it’s funny. I have a group chat with the producers I worked on Love Me Low with, and on December 8th they just casually texted me “hey call us when you can, Love Me Low is gonna be on Euphoria.” I then spammed them with 8 “wtf”’s and I told them not to play with me like that HA. I remember not actually believing that I got it when I found out haha like I was expecting someone in the next couple of days to tell me that they actually decided not to use it--I was very surprised and beyond ecstatic; I ran around my whole house and then another half mile outside (because I was really into running). I knew that it was real when Hunter Schafer followed me on Instagram, that was like a WHOA moment for me, especially because I remember actually watching Euphoria for the first time with the person the song is inspired by. Full circle.
What are the differences when it comes to writing for TV vs. writing for yourself?
Writing for TV about writing for myself is very similar, to be honest. It’s all about the vibe you are trying to go for, and how can I make a song that fits this vibe as well as possible. So like, for a TV show I’ll be given certain emotions that they want the song to match, like confidence or grandiose or something like that, and they’ll give me a reference song and also a little backstory about the film so that I can write appropriate lyrics in the appropriate style for that specific situation; but there is still a lot of creative freedom and I try to have every song I make (whether for TV or for my own catalog) fit my sound. At the end of the day, I just try my best to write good, meaningful songs, no matter what it’s used for.
Now, you just released “I Like You” about a couple of weeks ago. It’s got a very similar feel to “Love Me Low,” your Euphoria song. What inspired it?
My music career was actually the inspiration for that song for me personally. I wrote it over two years ago back in high school when I first decided that I wanted to pursue this career. I remember being in my high school’s practice rooms, and I had been trying to write it as a duet actually, but when I got to the second verse I got all pensive haha. I had like an out-of-body moment and I realize just how much I wanted this to work out. So the second verse is really where you hear what inspired the song. I say “Think I’m too quick to take opinions, think that I care too fucking much, and this is my attempt of following what my heart wants but, if I’m gonna fail I’d rather not.” Caring about the opinions of others is just something we all deal with; but when I was younger, I would care especially, since it always felt like I was letting the people around me down. Music was not encouraged, and everyone was always trying to be the best academically. I would second guess my desire to write and sing… the dream felt “too big”. But that’s BS… where would any of us be if people didn’t shoot for the moon. Society needs big dreamers, and I’m glad to be one of them.
When it comes to songwriting, how do you get in the groove?
It’s a very natural thing to me, which is why I say my love for making music is innate. I never really sit down and tell myself “okay now it’s time to write a song.” I usually will be in some sort of reflective, pensive state, like I’ll go on a walk or be in the shower or washing the dishes, and a tune will fly into my head and the words will come with it. And every time, I’m able to connect what I’ve just come up with to something that I’m feeling/experiencing in my actual life, and that aspect is pretty important to me. I really do try to put a piece of myself into the music I create, and I hope that people will be able to connect with me a little deeper because of that.
What about when you’re out of it. What’s the best way to overcome writer’s block?
Honestly, when it comes to music, the best way to create something is to experience something in my opinion. Sometimes people get caught up in the technicalities of music and forget that music is about expressing emotions, so basically, in order to create emotional music that can really connect with people, we need to experience life and feel these emotions. Music is fueled by life, so when someone is having writer’s block I encourage them to take a break, live life a little, and come back inspired. At least, that’s what I think and that’s what I do whenever I just don’t have anything.
Your sophomore single, “Runaway” is a little faster-paced than your other two songs. How do you manage versatility when writing?
I think versatility is super important as an artist, simply because I really don’t enjoy listening to like 14-track albums and 10 of them basically have the same beat. I want to establish a vibe for myself as Ai Bendr and explore all the sounds that fit in with that vibe basically. But when it comes to the lyrics and the actual song itself (not like production and technical things about the music), it’s definitely just inspired by the emotions I feel, and I just try my very best to communicate how I’m feeling through my lyrics and the way that I sing and the chords that I use, etc. When people listen through my catalog they are really listening to me and getting a glimpse into the things I feel, and if they relate with me that’s really cool. But yeah, I have different sounding songs because I am a multidimensional person and I feel a variety of different emotions, and every time I feel something strong whether that be sadness or happiness or being in love and what not I try to make it into a song.
Are there any genres that you’d like to explore that you haven’t?
There are most certainly genres that I don’t know the actual names of and their characteristics, but I listen to a large variety of different music because to me it’s really just about good song bad song. In all genres there are good songs and bad songs--I just enjoy the better ones HA. When it comes to making music, I never think about the genre, because I’m not necessarily into only one kind of sound, and I don’t want to put myself into a box (also I don’t really think you can when it comes to my music). I just do my best to make the nicest music I can, and if it fits a “genre” then fine!
If you weren’t making music, what do you think you’d be doing?
That would be a really sucky, sucky life for me. I suppose if I wasn’t as into music as I am, I would’ve tried my luck at being a volleyball player because I really really loved that sport, I just never gave it as much time as music (also because I didn’t have enough money growing up to be in a club team and do extra training so it wasn’t a very realistic thing for me to pursue). I had wanted to be in the Olympics actually at one point in middle school, but I knew I would never have the means to be good enough to go. But what’s funny is that the management agency that I work with is called Olympic Music Group or OMG - just kinda funny, in a sense, I did sorta make it into the Olympics (not really at all I know, ha).
Who do you owe your biggest thanks to?
Okay, firstly, I’m grateful for pretty much everything every day because the things I’ve been able to experience so far as Ai Bendr has been surreal, and I can’t believe it sometimes. All the people that support me, and all the sweet sweet fan messages I get I am so so thankful for. But my biggest thanks always goes to my manager. He was really the first person to actually believe that I could make something of myself as a musician. His support really helped me through so many things, and because he believed in me I eventually began to believe in myself. Without him I wouldn’t be in the position I am today, I am so so thankfullllll for him.
“I Like You” Album Artwork / Click to Listen!
What do you consider the highlight of your career thus far?
I mean, there are a lot of highlights to me. Moving to LA at the top of 2021 was huge, actually watching the scene where my song was used in Euphoria was crazy, the “I Like You” music video was such a memorable and lovely experience, there are so many things I’m so thankful for. I’m excited for what for all the highlights that the future will bring too :)
And which is a career goal you’d like to see yourself achieve?
I never ever want to feel pressure to be “successful” I guess as an artist because to me that’s not what making songs is about. I’m just trying to be genuine and make the most meaningful music possible to me and to the world, so the biggest challenge for me is just always hitting my best. I do hope one day to have connected with a lot of people through my music, I hope that my music can be a part of a lot of their memories, I hope I can help people feel understood and happy--that’s the main thing. However, as a producer as well, I do think it would be very cool to be the first woman (and colored woman!) to win the producer of the year Grammy award...I don’t want to jinx myself tho! I think I have what it take though, but that’s a goal that I keep more in the back of my head, just because awards and status and recognition are not the reason why I am making music. I am just trying to add beauty into the world in the little way that I can.
When it’s finally time to unwind, how do you spend a day off?
I love hanging out with my friends, and eating food, watching movies--just the basics really. But I can spend hours on end just chatting with a friend or two about anything and everything, that’s definitely one of my favorite ways to throw away a day. Other things I do though are cooking I love cooking, I like making clothes and making myself pretty so I can take pictures hahah, and also going on long walks through Runyon Canyon.
What’s your message for anyone who wants to get into music?
If this is something you really love, and you honestly truly believe that you have what it takes, then nothing can stop you from achieving your dreams. You just have to keep going because discouragement is how success/happiness-through-success can evade people.
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned since starting a music career?
I think just the idea of “it can happen to you.” I remember hearing this literal phrase and thinking of it as a warning like all these bad things can easily happen to you so be wary. But recently I’ve been trying harder to look at things on the flip side, so now I think of that phrase more as a hopeful statement, that all these outlandish achievements that you might think are impossible to reach can happen to you too. Discouragement can be such a tough thing to fight, but you have to, I think if you want to be the next person to achieve something outlandishly amazing.
What’s one thing you would change about the music industry?
If I could, I would change the visual aspect of the music industry. I’m saying this as a woman because I realize in our society that the attractiveness of a woman matters basically to the highest extent when it comes to whether they will be successful or not. It makes me sad sometimes that for women in music, being something interesting to look at is just as important as being something beautiful and to listen to. If I could change anything about the industry, it would be that the appearance of women in the music industry would have no effect on their success as musicians--and I’m sure if we could make that change the female musicians we hale as geniuses would look a lot different than they do today. However, I realize that that is not necessarily plausible, so I always hold myself to this standard: that my music is the most beautiful thing about me by far. Like I don’t ever want to have to worry about the way that I look, because I don’t want it to matter to my fans.
What can fans look forward to in 2021?
Another single :) and then a project with a lot of good songs on it, that’s what I’m working on right now! I’m so excited for my fans to hear what I’ve been making and feel what I’ve been feeling.